HOSPITAL
STORIES 2014
Here
comes the Doctor's team chattering of marvels a
clattering of high heels and Chelsea Boots on marble.
Harvesting
miracles for the quick and the living the occasional
error is quickly forgiven the surgeons privilege becomes
a safe haven immune from the knowledge of nurses.
"Sorry
Daevid!" say they as they tear off the hyperfix putting
positive spins on the prescripted crucifix.
Meds
for the pain levels, staples need sedatives, saline
for donor sites, truckloads of laxatives, cream for
the suture lines... as you would yes the skin graft
looks good.
He
addresses me loudly in case I can't hear it's
painful as hell in my dissected ear DAVE, I'M YOUR
SURGEON YOU'RE A LUCKY OLD HOUND. A CANCER THE
SIZE OF AN ORANGE WE FOUND! YOU'VE LOST A FEW LYMPH
NODES, ONE JUGULAR VEIN A WHOLE BUNCH OF NERVES AND
A WHOLE LOAD OF BRAINS. HA HA HA!!! TWAS ALONG
OPERATION, NINE HOURS AT LEAST THE CLOCK HANDS WERE
WAVING GOODBYE TO YOUR BEAST WE WERE GLAD TO BE SEEING
YOU OPEN YOUR EYES IT WAS QUITE A SURPRISE.
I
said: Doc, If I'd died might you think that maybe... I'd
see my-self as one more lucky escapee? from a
world full of suffering that prizes the living and
capitalizes on surgery saving the lives of the artists so
they may continue their mischief and skiving...
DON'T
BE SILLY he shouted redoubling his volume in case
I'd had Targin & Endone & Valium I PUT YEARS
ON YOUR LIFE PLUS A FEW EXTRA DAYS I'VE SAVED YR
MAIN TENDON SO YOU CAN STILL PLAY NOW YOU'VE GOTTA
NEW IMAGE WITH LANDING STRIP HAIR SO GET YOUR ARM
SORTED AND GET BACK OUT THERE! THE BAND THEY EXPECT
IT! THE FANS WANT YOU BACK! YOUR FUTURE IS ROSY SO
DON'T PAINT IT BLACK!
Thank
you dear doctor I murmured and sank deep into the
sump of my memory bank.
2.
I
found myself sitting inside my skull chamber with
nails being driven through skull walls by hammers appearing
like spikes forced through plywood or tin then i
noticed the roof had a lowering trapdoor where gigantic
spiders crept in...
...eyes
fixed on me.
Then
I sank through the substratas under the land as if
i were drowning in ancient red sand and I took one
last breath and the voice in my head said Death
I am ready to sleep in your bed
and
I sank deep in nothingness and... darkness and void i
an isolate entity separate and sinking further
and further from the friends I had known jailed
in my mud penitentiary locked in a stone of no
memory.
This
was not right. Where was the light? Where was
the love?
Dimly
I struggled back. Gradually found enough strength
to remember a fullness.
The
light and the sound, not lonely - but whole in
a new kind of stillness.
Connected
with love to my heart tribe and soul in the wilderness.
For
a while then I thought I'd become a great mountain in
the red heart of central Australia.
Being
strip mined by a race of mad miners practicing sacred
land soil necrophilia
And
this open cut mine was my open cut neck was my open
cut mind... And my surgeons designs in my deep
ancient flesh stretched for miles through the mist, though
the dust, through the luminous sunsets and hieroglyph
signs.
My
deep red flesh stinging & flinging one long silent
scream at the grinding of surgical graders, clay
scalpels, earth movers.
Rock
fracking torture machines built like Darth
Vader dreams, invading, imploding, impacting, extracting
and digging for metals and the songline's gold seams, deep
in the flesh of what I'd always been.
Such
surgeons are not what they seem. For a while then
I soared high up over the trauma a hovering soul
I surveyed the whole drama
&
with me a wise one to soothe and give meaning as
we flew the whole length of this open cut wounding.
The
wise one then took me to the hills all around which
were forested and lived in by folks of my kind Communities
were everywhere and deep in one valley a fire surrounded
by circles of people and the heart drums spread unity and
the chants were connected so we flew down to join
them and we all were protected.
Then
again we soared over my surgical site and my friend
spoke to me see that deep metal click track implanted
in you? It's a rack of fresh song lines they harvest
from you, now its yours. You can end with a dance
track but start with a didgeridoo.
Meanwhile
we have found you. Your friends will surround you. Rest
now and know you'll pull through.
I
was back in the ward needing help from the sister my
body was just hanging in
But
the night nurses button suspended above was too
far away from my skin.
From
the ceiling the trapdoor was lowering again the spiders
emerging were watching me spin
Outside
the door a mechanical bird gave a loud honking call with
its great gaping beak was collecting the freshly
dead out of their wards and dropping them on to
a slide near my door so they rolled down and dropped
in the dead body bin with a bone crunching crash while
the nurses smoked hash with the doctors and wardens cracking
bottles of vodka and laughing like chorus girls oblivious
to bell calls not knowing the state we were in...
O
nursie dear nursie have mercy on me i can't quite
reach up to the bell on your tree
I'm
callin & callin by telepathy but you don't know
I'm callin i am dave in bed 3 i guess you'll remember
me sooner or later at the edge of the crater where
I'm slipping and falling where demons and dark creatures
scheme and contrive to suck me from a place where
i am barely alive
O
nursie dear nursie I'm callin from hell and I'm just
out of reach of the emergency bell...
....................
So
this was death, i thought. Not quite what I had sought. I
breathed a tiny breath and up through density fought
my way with deepening intensity.
Reversing
my surrender then a warrior now full hearted snatching
breaths of difficult air, and for what seemed an
eternity I battled to get out of there.
I
surfaced after an endless war with asphyxiating fears, till
at last i came to a landscape where my wild breath
stopped in wonder.
A
temple spun with blinding light erased the darkness way
over and deep under
I
remembered stories from ancient times when shining
cities ruled by god kings sent me signs and signals inviting
me in & now it began again
light
i could breathe light i could smell light i could
feed upon deep down below as above.
A
temple of stars live streaming the brilliance
of life as it is
as
deep is the ocean where whales carry us home to
the the ocean of love...
the
ocean of love... shining in the distance calling
out my name
Then
I opened my eyes to find maggie & ynys &
turiya willie, orlando & emma & russell &
evan, vasudha & jemba & howie ricardo
& toby & tali beka & frank, vanya
& vera, mikey cosmik & sarah asking: how
do you feel?
All
I could say was: Thank you for helping me heal!!
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