DAEVID ALLEN PERFORMANCE SITE

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THE SORRY POEM
(for pityís sake) 

Iím SorryÖ 
Whatever I did, 
Iím
  REALLY sorry. 
AndÖ 
Iíll NEVER do it again! 
Iím sorry because Iím me 
Iím sorry because Iím here 
Iím sorry because youíre here/ youíre there 
Iím sorry Iím oldÖ 
Iím sorry Iím jung 
Iím sorry Iím not a freud   

Iím REALLY sorry i LOVE sex. 
Iím really sorry Iím not a terrorist! (tourist) 
Iím really sorry that once youíre over sixty 
& singleÖ.  
you automatically become a dirty old man.   

An old punk gropin for the jam, 
Punch drunk with  
spunk stained bank cards &  
the worst mortal morals of any man. 
A sleezy gawping on exceptional stalks, 
A pork stick pretending to think 
AND  
a probable  
paedo-astro-philo-soph-is-tick-ate mate 
Ö..but 
I DONíT THINK SO! 
Me? Were I one pixilating photo-synthesis of disgusting lust then 
i be less than a crapulating craw-toad gangelion slobbering on a  white crow!  

A stalleon smello spasmÖ.. 

sorry 

Anyway 
Iím SO sorry you think 
That
IíM dirty 

Iím SO sorry you think that 
I myself personally am  
a dirty old man! 
The thought actually never occurred to ME  
that I was old  
but it must have come from somewhere hey (?). 
The thought never occurred to me that I was DIRTY,  
to whit 

i am SO sorry  
YOU just blew a silent yet deadly fart 
& are STILL looking at  
ME  
accusingly. 

I fart in your general direction thenÖ.. 
(turns back, bends over & farts at audience) 

Iím SO sorry I am seventy and have a raging hardon for your wife 

I am SO sorry that after three score & ten years I still like to score three times in a ten hour day & so wot anyway. 

I am SO sorry I love lying naked  on public beaches orÖ.if under duressÖ  
looking luscious in a g-string  polka dot
 bikini bottom. 

Iím SO sorry you canít GET OFF ON my wrinkles, sags, barnacles & crinkles & donít even notice my twinkle.
HEY! Examine a whale! 
Handsome brutes!!  
Winsome cutes!! 

DREAM WAITER! 
bring me my bill for the barnacles! 

I am SO sorry Holy Holy Hollywood is too scared to make movies with  
sextegenarian sex scenes &  
why donít hollywood actors  
ever have visible hard-ons eh?  
PONKLE!! 

I am so sorry I NEVER say no to a 25 Y.O. gal who offers a night in black satin silk sheets while shouting poetry by Karl Marx & listening to Shostakovitch & Sage Francis simultaneouslyÖ  
both at full volume.  
Numerologically peakingÖ. 
To whit: 
I am SO sorry my girlfriend is 45 years younger than me &  
Iím so sorry you find this shocking my god where have
you been all your life?  
Forget prozac! 
Forget the Christian Brothers! 
Take a cold shower! 
Rescue Remedy! 
Triple vodka! 
Russian roulette?   

I am SO sorry  
I am NOT sitting in a corner  
dozing off  
while dribbling fatuous truisms about  
my beautiful grandkids while peeing gently in my POPPY nappyÖÖYET! 

Iím SO sorry I got to 70,  
STILL HAVENT GROWN UP  
& donít believe I am  
as wise as my 14 yo son 
YET 

Iím SO sorry I donít fit into a nice comfy social identikit box  
so you can  
talk-down to me,  
patronise me,  
and pack me away like a  
poor old bewildered  
past participle parsnip  
on tranquilizers  
muttering feebly about  
the good old days 

I am SO sorry that at my age  
I REALLY ENJOY appearing  
ON STAGE in a 1920s flapper style  
transparent red sequin dancing dress!  

Iím SO sorry you think I am a  PERVERT  
because I cant resist TITTY-ELATING WORDS 
Or because I get stoned on  
literate alien alliteration!  
to whit: 

Pollyís paranormal pussy pickled Peterís perilously peppered proboscis in a purple pesticide paprika prophylactic paella, while presenting presumed preternatural pudendum as a psychotically prudish preventative prune purgatory. 

FUCKIN WOíEVER!  

Sorry, 

Look, Iím REALLY SORRY  
And I KNOW I am seventy but  
I have a preposterous protuberance  
for your hussybandís poppydong, darling!  
 

FEAR NOT CUMRADES IíM HIP POCKET! 
Oh LAWD I am SO sorry for the  
victimized legions of born again 
ZOMBIE BURGER GOBBLERS! 
Queuing up at Hungry JERK! (off) 

So sorry for those who still believe that Mister Howard was NOT a White Christian Racist Supremacist! 

&  

Iím  So SORRY 
Those who fear retribution for their SINS! 
For e.g: 
Those bogan yogi drones on whore-moans, thumbing through plastic surgery promotions,  
ogling sex in the city style cellulose-free celebrities & feeding like rubrik ravens pon  
their mirrorball marketing morals  & secret self loathing  

Iím sorry Iím not a disaster addict  
watching fear & loathing on ch 7, ch 9, ch 10 watching fux news manic depressive  
market analysts slowly auto-deconstructingÖ. 

Iím so sorry IF  
you never said sorry. 
So sorry IF 
You couldnít say thanks. 
So sorry IF we are not up to the challenge of optimism. (yet) 
Sorry IF we donít possess the audacity to have HOPE for our children! (yet) 

 

I am  sorry we are SO scared  
of everything we donít understand. 
Sorry IF weíre scared of the DARK! 
Iím sorry you decided to be stupid 
When youíre actually secretly smart. 

In truthÖ.. 
for all we worried citizens   
righteous uptight citizens 
for all we silly citizens 
and all of virtueís denizens 
for all we sorry citizens 
For whom the ticking clock 
Sings the bluesÖ.. 

Iím So sorryÖSo sorryÖ 
Soooo sorryÖÖ 
for  
yoooooo! 
(& me too)